It’s not me; it’s you – Grand Thief Auto IV & Mario Kart Wii

I had a good memorial week, playing and eating well, but now it’s back to work for me. And I start by unleashing my newest segment on two games that are popular right now: Grand Thief Auto IV and Mario Kart Wii respectively. Now I could accurately review these two games easily; however at this point I would be only saying the same things that have been already said earlier this month. So instead I decided to post what ‘kept’ these two games from achieving my perfect rating: Triple Platinum. Both games are good granted but unlike every Jon, Dick and Game Reviewer I hold my rating systems in the highest regard. That means if a game is excellent all-round but contains flaws (big or small) it will not receive a perfect from me, guaranteed. To date, no game (even my personal favorites) has ever earned my ultimate rating – such is my devotion to the game (metaphorically speaking). I had high hopes for these games, GTA IV in particularly, but they unfortunately fell short. Don’t think so do you? Well continue on and we’ll see if all that glitters in GTA IV is really gold.

GTA IV: This latest entry into the series doesn’t disappoint (at first); excellent characters, well-designed locations and ton of vehicles to steal, race and destroy this game will keep you busy. It also gets credit for creating a parody of our own reality; complete with T.V. shows, internet, pool, bowing, darts, dating and of course radio shows. Those alone make this game a classic, but it was the story that won many over. So deep and clever you would think you were watching the latest summer blockbuster. This game would get a Platinum rating if I were to officially review, and not just summarized it. However, that said, GTA IV could have been so much better if only they fixed obvious problems, and fine tuned some features. Such as…

Hold ‘X’ to run – Yeah, hello Rockstar, 1992 called, they said they want their running function back. Do you know why we have (and use) thumb sticks instead of D-pad these days in modern games? Because the players can chose how fast their character can move by them and them alone without wasting time on an extra button function for increased speed. Because of this downgrade it makes getting around the nooks and crannies of Liberty City much more a chore than it as to be, and in combat it’s a liability. The finally nail in the coffin though is that holding that down the button won’t give the fastest run available. If you want to get away from a bunch thugs armed with assault rifles you need to press ‘X’ repeatedly - brilliant… Now I need to blister my favorite gaming digit to get any serious speed, just brilliant Rockstar.

Combat – What is so hard about this, Rockstar? 88% of all games involving guns at least have a good system of aiming and firing. The GTA is part of that 22% which has a system of combat sucking. My favorite GTA game, San Andreas, had my hopes for IV since it had the most improved combat in the series (different melee fighting styles, exercise to increases stamina and strength, and upgradeable firearms skills), but (unwisely might I add) they dropped everyone of those beautiful features. What was left was a ‘new’ cover system which is as broken as the GTA combat system itself (Heh “Auto-aim is an awesome feature that is often misunderstood." my ass!), and a ‘new’ free aim ability that let’s choose where to shoot instead of just locking-on (This ability is pressure sensitive, not your friend in tight situations). IV also gives players the ability to arms and legs, but it’s not very practical in the game, and near impossible in multiplayer. Headshots are king; don’t waste your time with any other part of the body except for the body itself of course. But speaking of Multiplayer (segue please).

GTA multiplayer – I haven’t been this disappointed in a multiplayer setup since Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (Although that one was way more fun). You’re given a butt-ugly avatar to dress up like a hobo doll and then (depending on the mode type) need to overcome the initial weakness of the two problems I listed above to obtain victory in the match. And what do you get for all your hard work, why the great almighty dollar. How much money you get will influence your rank in the multiplayer mode (if you’ve horded enough that is), that and unlock new clothes for your avatar. This is sad, because Rockstar could have so much more with this ‘cash’ system. Such as buying weapons, armors, and even cars giving the game some much needed strategy. Instead of what we have now which is people scattering like morons looking for a rocket launcher (or some useable weapon/armor) and a half way drivable car that won’t blow up when the enemy spits on it. If you’re lucky enough to find you all those things you’ll still be brought down by some punk who auto locks you to submission with a SMG (while in your car traveling 50mph, no less).

I’ll be fair though – In multiplayer the run button allows you to run at full speed just by holding down and not by pressing it repeating (unlike the story mode), the room creator does have the option to turn off the Auto-aim in their matchers; and they do offer some creative match types like “Mafia work”. But all this doesn’t improve this mode or me, in the long run luck plays too much of a factor here. Luck in your shots, luck in the positioning of yourself, your objectives, vehicles and weapons you spawn next to, and finally the luck of getting paired up with competent players in team mode. If any one of those is not in your favor, then you’re in for one rough game.

Nikolei "Niko" Bellic – The final ‘T’ I need to cross is with the main character himself. Now I hate to beat a dead house here, but there’s some wrong with a guy like this (professional solider at one time) who doesn’t have the same (or better) combative skills as a gang banger (Carl "CJ" Johnson). Even without the ability of free aim or cover CJ would decimate wakes enemies with out trouble (which was good for ‘Gang wars’ land grabs). I liked how he was able to fit emotionally to every situation he’s put in, whether he’s out to kill or out on the date. Still, for video game of this caliber, a good personality ain’t going to cut on its own. A main character can speak softly, but he must also carry a big stick after all. All my boy Niko has is average abilities, average weapons usage, a cell phone, and the unrelenting need to keep friends happy so they can (maybe) help you, so long as its daylight out. Hell, don’t get me started with avatar customizing difference between CJ and Niko. Rockstar, next time make your main character upgradeable (and cool like C.J.) but deep and emotional (like the very ‘real’ Niko Bellic) and I guarantee you’re like the result from friends and harsh critics like me.

Mario Kart Wii: Mario Kart is a legacy series of games that has been entertaining Nintendo gamers since SNES. With a cast of the Mushroom kingdom favorites (plus DK and crew), a crazy assortment of courses and cartoonish weaponry; Mario Kart always kept players entertained yet challenged and they only got better with age, like a fine wine. Which made it a big surprise to find this game, Mario Kart Wii, a step back in the series’ pedigree? Don’t get me wrong it’s still fun, the controls works, online up the wazoo and they even added bikes and your ‘Mii’s’ into the fix, but (as impressive as that is) it still a far cry to how good their last home console game was. I could only muster up a Gold rating for this game, sadly. Get you pens and pencils ready people, here’s what Nintendo did wrong:

Useless wheel: Now I’m all for making everyone, everywhere a gamer (and to make the transition as easy as possible), but I am also against accessories that are stupid, and this thing is stupid. Unless Nintendo starts to crank out kart/racing games every few weeks, this ‘wheel’ will only find permanence in a junk draw or trash bin. Trust me; using the nunchuk is a much better way to go.

“Rubber banding”: I am not sure who came up with the term but Rubber banding means the better the player is doing in a race the more often the CPU characters uses devastating items to bring them down. This applies to real players as well. It never fails; I work hard to get to first place in an online race, only to have it taken away by an unavoidable attack (Blue shells, lightning, etc). Very annoying… Meanwhile when I get to first place (yet again), the only items I can get is bananas, green shells (the suckee’er brand of shell), and on rare moments, a mushroom. Racing without combat is NASCAR, and NASCAR bores me, but this Rubber banding (which has been persistence in Mario Kart since the beginning) abuses the whole racing element by any racer in 7^th place or below. Nintendo, if your reading, you must find the balance between skills on the wheel and well-timed (and well earned) items. I’m not saying that the dust eaters should be entirely cut off, but throw a bone to the truly skilled sometimes, or maybe create a defensive item like a 15-sec shield. Put Rubber banding out to pasture next game, I’m begging you.

Minus Double Dash: I loved Mario Kart: Double Dash, the use of a team kart game play, varied karts themselves, all new (or at least updated) courses, signature weapons/items, the whole nine was beautiful. However like GTA IV, Mario Kart Wii has lost a massive step from its predecessors. All that was good in the former is no where in the latter. Now we only have ½ the new racing courses to enjoy while the rest are blasts from races past. I like seeing the old courses again, but don’t rob players (vets and rookies) of quirky new ones. Also they scraped D.D.’s co-op play (two players, one kart, millions of laugh) which is just wrong and that begat the loss of signature items (Mario’s fireballs, Bowser’s super shell, etc.), also wrong. The karts in this latest installment also pale, they lack personally, but importantly no matter the weight class (light, medium, heavy) or the vehicle type (kart or bike) they will perform roughly the same way. Sure, a heavy rider will always bump a light rider a little harder, but other than that there are no other advantages / disadvantages from using Mario from any other racer - making this game just a little blander.

Well I think that covers all my grievances with these two games here, but this is only the beginning. I plan on keeping up with this segment for games that I expect better of, but totally missed the mark, so keep your eyes open for them – you might be surprised on what I write about. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve been writing way too long I have still too many games to catch up on.

Shigeru Miyamoto is #1 on ‘TIME 100’ poll – The people have spoken

You know I’ve been playing GTA VI (review coming) pretty hard lately so I haven’t had the time to watch TV. However yesterday I was watching the iconic master of American punditry, Steven Colbert. On his show he told the viewers that he came in 3^rd on Time’s most influential people’s poll (Better luck next year Stevie). However the person who came in 1^st was the daddy of games himself, Shigeru Miyamoto. Mr. Miyamoto is someone I truly respect, because he’s the guy to saved gaming for us all with his games ‘Donkey Kong’ and ‘Super Mario Bros.’ respectably. Even today his titles keep reinventing gaming structure giving endless possibilities to future games; and all without resorting to bloody murders or X-rated orgies. So I offer my congras Mr. M for this high accomplishment in not only your skills as an entertainer, but your brilliant imagination.

War of the Worlds: The Game – It’s about damn time

* Ybnem Vuum'c bucd baubma, tuh'd dyga drec caneuicmo. Ihmacc ouin punat, frelr E fyc frah E syta drec. Ahzuo! *

Street fighter IV, please.

\

GTA IV, drek.

Starcraft II, feed for pigs.

The newest game that will shake the gaming universe at it core is the 1898 masterpiece War of the Worlds: The Game.

It was like I was saying to my brother; “My brotha’!” I says “The people don’t read anymore all they care about youtube and porn! I tell ya! I wish they come out with a game that will educate the masses!”

Well like a gift from Miyamoto I got my wish because one of my spies on the inside told me that this momentous game was in the works by a new developer called Rickroll’d super tech. Their C.E.O. promised “Not to let us down…” Now – Now; I know what you all are saying: “Not another alien shooter!” and I agree, but that’s the genius of this War of the Worlds: The Game; it’s not a shooter – it’s a simulator. That’s right; you take the role of the radio director who made the epic broadcast in 1938 who fooled the general populous into believing aliens have actually landed on earth. This time though you the power of 21st century technologies like computers and sound machines on your side. I’m not quite sure how that’s possible but I’m sure it will work after the beta. Anyway your goal to whip the world into such a frenzy over aliens that the earth with launch a preemptive strike against the ‘real’ red menace: Mars. White at the same time beat your radio competitors before they make the people forget about your fake invasion. This is a can’t miss game, so relevant in our times. Anywho… This game will be available for every system, ever made including ‘The Phantom’ which should make Phantom Entertainment happy because I’ve haven’t seen 3^rd party (or any)games on that system yet. I’ll keep you all inform with any latest up dates and with any luck this game will come out… never.

By the by, if your not fluent in Al Bhed use this translator to decode my sentence at the beginning.

Downloadable Content – Just when you think you’re done with a game

I’ll be honest with you all; I don’t really download anything extra for my games unless I have to; like new Halo 3 maps for my online multiplayer. After all when I beat a game I don’t need to spend extra money for a few new missions and maybe an extra item or two, plus good content is rare. Well I got to say I’m wrong on this one; the just downloaded (the pack adds 8 new characters to the game: 4 heroes and 4 villains) for Marvel Ultimate Alliance and it’s like playing a whole new game. the Heroes and Villains pack. While my brother took the new heroes (The Incredible Hulk, Cyclops, Nightcrawler and Hawkeye) I took the villains (Venom, Magneto, Dr. Doom and Sabretooth - Mwa ha ha!)

While the game was the same; it seemed to adjust itself to the new characters quite well. They even interacted with the set opponents like the normal characters would, impressive. I tell you there something about playing a villain that so enjoyable; using Magneto powers to throw people like rag dolls or slapping foes around with symbiote-powered Venom. Uh, my brother had fun too. As I finished playing M.U.A. for the moment I figured I tried another favorite game, ‘Overlord’ to see if it had any downloads to be had. Sure enough it did, quite a big bit too. No new characters, but much more content that extents the game that I truly liked but thought was too short. Ah life is good, and I don’t mind being wrong on this one if the good content keeps flowing like wine. Although such content is not free (mostly) so many sure your buying something you want; remember all that glitters is not gold.

Wii – The lo down III

Well ladies and gentleman we come to the end of the lo down segment with Nintendo great white hope, the Wii. Yes this little wonder of Japanese engineering is the love and desire of gamers, and the envy of their competitors. As well all know though, if something too good to be true, it probably is. Does this saying apply to the Wii too? Read on, my friends read on.

Strengths: The blind, deaf and dumb all know that the Wii major strength is it complete control system based on wireless motion movements via infrared sensor bar and their controllers Nintendo DS Lite, Nunchuk and Wii Remote (Similar to the PS3 and PSP but without the motion movements). Now what that means is that whatever motion players make, the character on the screen should make the same motion (i.e. throw a ball, shoot a gun, swing a sword, etc). Of course it depends on the game but you know what, it works surprising well. Which leads me to my next point, this simple style of game play is fun as hell. Sure, you look like you’re have a conniption fit, but you won’t care. Nintendo gives you opinions though in the form of a ‘classic’ controller and the Gamecube controller, so if the whole ‘hokey-pokey’ thing doesn’t work out you can plug them in instead (for most Wii games anyway). Then with the Wii comes with the Nintendo band name games, stuff said there. Oh, their online, which is a cross between Xbox live and Playstation network, also comes with Virtual Console which allows players to download classical (Nintendo or otherwise) games and relive the glory days of the 8 bit era. These reasons alone make the Wii a catch but the real deal breaker is that it’s only priced at $250 plus free game (Wii Sports).

Weakness: As much as I am a Nintendo elitist I must be truthful in all things game otherwise what’s the point? But anyway to start the Wii motion controls are a tricky thing between points. During one point the controls work fine but on others it’s glitchy and inaccurate. It is these types of games that don’t allow the use of standard controllers so you’re doubly screwed and if you want to keep playing the game got to work around this annoying trait. Another thing, the Wii is not a graphical powerhouse compared to the other systems. Sometimes it depends on the game marker, but if the same game is on all systems it won’t look as good on the Wii. The embedded memory storage is a little on the small side (smallest on the three console actually) but you’ll be fine if you get a Secure Digital memory card. The biggest blow to Wii dominance is it online multiplayer; unlike the others where can go online and then go to town on victims. However for the Wii you need ‘Friend codes’ to play online, it’s very annoying; players will have to scour to find these codes and get descent matches online. They still offer random matches, but to say they’re limited would be an understatement.

Overall: The Wii is the latest, biggest thing in gaming; both non and casual gamers find it unique and user friendly. So in turn gives those potential buyers with a family more a reason to buy it. However this tends to push away the Standard and Hardcore gamers, but this is a mistake. With ‘No More Heroes’, ‘Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles’ and more on the way Nintendo is reaffirming that this is a system for all, and I tend to agreed. If you don’t believe me, call any store, and ask if they have any Wii’s lying around, I dare you. So you all know where I’m leaning towards here; get the Wii as soon as you can. Nintendo got the market and they’re not letting go.

Playstation 3 – The lo down II

Alrighty people, next up in my system check we got the PS3, the ominous obelisk of tech. How will it pan in my judgmental eye, read on a find out.

Strengths: Ok first thing first this is one powerful machine (maybe the most powerful console on the market). Everything looks very real, it’s almost surreal; and of course if you got a HD-TV and surround sound system you’re golden. The next thing they got going for themselves is Blu ray capability. This may not seem like much now, but thanks to both Toshiba for discontinuing the production of HD DVD players and Time Warner for supporting only Blu ray disks (staring in June) for there movies, Blu ray will be the style of player in the future (or at least the majority in the world entertainment market). By buying a PS3 you would be killing two birds with one stone. In my opinion the best feature of this system it the backward compatibilities of the PS3; all you need to do is download the backward compatible data from the ‘PlayStation Network’ (The full online service which is free by the by, take that Xbox live) to your PS3 and play nearly any PS1 & 2 game you have. This blows the crap out of the 360’s backward compatibilities which is still behind even after 2 + years of life (again, take that).

Weakness: Despite having a legendary pedigree, the PS3 has not been popular for one reason and one reason only: pricing. Back when it first hit the stores they are priced at $600 a console ($500 for the ‘cheap’ one). Who has that kind of money just lying around?! Really! Now it would be almost worth it if they had well organized launch titles ready but no; 90% crap all that awaited those unfortunate enough to have bought PS3 during that time. Well I’m glad to say that the state of things improved for Sony and their cursed-mark console; if only slightly. They reduced the console’s price low enough($400 new) to be affordable to more people than just the Prince of Wales. Also the game line up has finally started to pick up steam with titles like: Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction, Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, and the upcoming Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. The last cross for PS3 to bear is that it’s online (although free) is lacking; a sort of stripped down version of Xbox live. Of course Sony swears up and down that ‘PlayStation Home’ will change all that (and should be ready in a couple of months) hopefully.

Overall: In my opinion the Playstation 3 is the machine of the future; it’s only a matter of time. However presently it’s still the low man on the totem poll; in fact I had to weight my options careful before deciding on buying one myself. In the end I did so three simple reasons:

1. I wouldn’t be a very good Game Pundit if I didn’t have the ability to review all major gaming platforms (Expect for PSP, don’t get me started).

2. The evidence above (plus more all over the web) show that Sony will not let its most profitable cash cow die; the games are coming, the (Playstation) network is improving, and the pricing will be adjusted accordantly (although not low enough to cause the Wii to sweat).

3. The Playstation 1 and 2 libraries as a whole is still playable; it even can play damage disks (some, not all).

So my advice to you all is this console will earn it’s keep in 2010 but you can afford to wait in 2008. Just make sure you keep an eye out for the good deals, you can get these systems cheap with patience and planning.

Xbox 360 – The lo down

You know, I like all the current the home consoles right now, they are really quite balanced. However for those who are planning to buy a system and need a little straight information on each on you come to right place. The next three entrees will be devoted to a mini-look of the Xbox 360, Wii and PS3 (and your welcome); they won’t be technical or in depth but they will be all based on the opinion of a gamer who was all three and skilled in their use, yours truly. Let’s get started with Xbox 360.

Strengths: The king console in the states, their library of current generation games come 2^nd to none. Racing, Beat’em ups, Action, Adventure, Role Play, Shooter (home of Halo), you name it’s there. I dare say it’ll fit anyone who buys one, even little kids. While I never commend Halo to a child (not until your 13 young man) it’s no trouble download a simple yet fun game from Xbox 360 Arcade so they can have fun and learn the gaming basics – got to strafe before you frag after all. Which bring me to my next point; this console had the best online network on consoles – Xbox live. One could download game demos, TV shows, movie trailers, Xbox original games like Crimson Skies have video chats with friends, have limited connectivity to one’s PC to extent the 360’s media abilities, and of course, play against people online. Even when users fill up their current memory storage unit they can always buy more so they don’t have to erase anything important like south park episodes or your latest recording run-through of Burnout Paradise. Finally 360’s are quite affordable right now pricing at $250-$350

Weakness: As good as the 360, does have a few problems. The biggest is the ‘Red Ring of Death’; now thanks to God, I never had the problem personally with my machine but it has happened to many others (my condolences). When players would see this ring (which is 75% of a ring actually) it would mean the end of your machine, nothing would work. The worst part is that the number of 360 with the ring was surprising high. Fortunately Microsoft has been very supportive of this condition and extended the general warranty to three years for this problem as well as taken steps to make future 360’s would work property. Another issue I have is that while I’m paying for Xbox live (Gold membership baby) I seem to be bombarded with lag, ALL THE TIME! It’s like I’m give Microsoft money to waste my time, and that’s just sick! Oh well… when I do find a good, lag free game it does run well.

Overall: Xbox 360 is an excellent machine that runs well, has a good library of games and online options up the wazoo. It’s only place the 360 has little fan base is in Japan for some reason; but if you don’t live there then you don’t have a problem. I’ll say it straight – if you can’t find a Wii (or don’t like to excise) and still think the Playstation 3 isn’t worth it then buy the 360, you can’t go wrong.

Translation please – Can foreign games be fun again?

I’m glad to say I’ve been playing games for about 20+ years. I remember my past fondly and without a shadow of a doubt I’ve been blessed. Well among other reasons, I believe this is so because I’ve lived during the golden age of gaming (the 90’s if you don’t know) and played great games that more than a few came from the land of the rising sun; Japan. Konami, Capcom and Squaresoft were a few of my favorite developers. However being that this is 2008 things (and games) are not as they once were, in fact the games I’ve been playing from them and many others have been less than memorable – worst than that, they been down right boring. See my gripe stems from their games; how they once were and how they are now. Their combined games such as, but not limited to: Ganbare Goemon a.k.a. Legend of the Mystical Ninja, Suikoden, Breath of Fire, Street Fighter (the game that put fighting games on the map), Mega Man, Final Fantasy, Saga Frontier, Strider and Chrono Trigger (a personal favorite) were a unique series of games that were entertaining, fun, brilliant precursors to the games we now enjoy. Now in 2008 most of these over the sea favorites don’t even exist anymore. What’s more, newer entries such as “Lost Odyssey” follow a set a pattern of play that been around since the 90’s (hero is small in a small village, fights a big, bad evil and wins with the power of love/friendship/ancient relic/etc.) which seems is dated in our time. Think about all the great games that are made by state side developers; Ratchet & Clank, Burnout, and the Orange Box. All good, well-thought games that don’t ride the achievements of their past, they keep improving their series making them even better (GTA anyone). The foreign games seem to keep using the same character archetypes, same story board progressions, same types of quests, same everything just in different titles (What the difference between Resident Evil and Dead Rising or Final Fantasy 7 , 8, 9, 10 and 12 at its core? Nothing, but a few details …).

Ok so I’ll admit foreign developers do try, Okami and Viewtiful Joe are par excellent. Mario has been around longer than most and still remains the figure head king of games in the eyes of many. The red, white and blue one may had few failures but always bounced back because Shigeru Miyamoto and crew learned from all aspect of the past to create something truly ‘Mario’. It’s this lesion that I want more foreign developers to learn; not create the same old thing in the same old formula but to try something new a unexpected, even if it’s not well received. The thing is, if they keep doing what their doing; what they’ll get is Mega Man. A cash cow that has crapped out…

Ban Hammer Abuse – Oh those testy game companies

I’ll admit don’t really have many gaming magazines, most gamer information one could need can be found on the internet, the ‘Killswitch Offensive’ for one(shameless self promotion rocks). I only have two that are privileged enough I should paid money for – Game Informer and EGM. They’re great sources of information and news in the industry but their dynamic is radically different: GI is like the ‘Mercedes’ of mags while EGM give’s it to you straight without fluff. Where I’m going with this is about a month or so ago I’ve read an editorial by Dan Hsu of Electronic Gaming Monthly (EGM). It said that the mag was banned by Midway, Sony and Ubisoft from getting games from them to review. Why? Because they felt that the scores given to their games by EGM was less then flattering (especially Assassin Creed). I got to say from what I’ve read, the trio sound like a bunch of bastards. That can’t be right, could it? I decided to do little research and from what I found EGM claims are true.

Where to begin…

Well first of all, EGM (and Dan Hsu respectively) congras for saying what you did. For standing up for your ethics and integrity as a serious media; for not bowing to the pressures of companies who think money can solve the problems of sucky games; and for showing the world that game journalists ‘are’ journalists and should act as such. However, despite the support of myself and others, there have been criticisms about this editorial. Some say that EGM (and their reviewing system) are flawed and got what they deserved; even the escapist’s Russ Pitts finds Hsu’s editorial too well timed according to low (after the holidays) magazine sales. Hsu even caught flames from other game journalists for not naming’ names in his editorial. To these people, I say, get off his back! It’s bad enough to cast stones (and suspicions) generally, but to do so on the subject of fixed journalism, just because you don’t like the magazine or the person, is quite sad. And also for those game journalists concerned about “no names” - don’t be. If your mag or site or blog does everything by the book – great; don’t get self-conscious on what Hsu said and start pitching fits. G.I. editor-in-chief’s words (Issue 179, page 10) were especially disappointing. Before I call it a post I turn my attention back to Midway, Sony and Ubisoft. You’re companies are very fortunate to have good games, that I cannot ban you all from my consoles. However your lack of maturity on game reviews was so infantile that it forces you to ‘ban’ EGM is border line insanity! I’ll tell you all a secret – reviews, everywhere, are based on opinion… You always have the option to ignore them! Also reviewers don’t make or break a game, the people who buy them do. Look at “Psychonauts” and “Okami” great games that scored very well, but did the public receive them well, no. Hard to say why, but it just didn’t happen, which is exactly my point. To blame (and then ban) a magazine for pointing out the short comings in your games will only cause way more problems than solve them. Now what you did leaves a bad taste in the mouths of the EGM reading base (and all the people they know) by excluding their mag, and by doing that its makes the chances of those people buying from you again very slim.

Gee… Who would have thought trying to spit in the eye of free press would be bad for business.

Game Review - Super Smash Bros. Brawl

I’m sorry to disappoint those who may or may not come to be enlightened in the ways of the game through rant, but instead a game review. Yes I reviews games, this opinionated blogging feature is just an add-on that I rather enjoy. So I figure I combine the two and save time. That is until I get my website up (sooner or later). Anyway this game is the latest Smash Bros sequel - Brawl. Trust me; it’s a Nintendo fan boys dream come true. When it comes to this series there’s not much of a story to be had here (not that fans of the series care much), the closest we got was a watered down adventure mode in Melee. This time around though they actually put some effort in and made it actually passable mode of play. Most the characters from the first two games plus some new entries must now due battle with creatures from subspace. These creatures (which look a lot like the heartless from Kingdom Hearts) are being led by the usual assortment of Nintendo villains and the leader du jour the ‘Ancient Minister’. Mario and gang don’t know why they’re bring the noise; but in order to save their amalgamated world they must show them the painful back side of their hands.

Now the playstyle of this series has always been difficult to classify, close to a fighter genre but not a pure one. For those you don’t know, it works on a modified ‘King of the Hill’ system. Instead of a health bar each character has percent counter. Each time an character receives damage two things will happen; the counter will go up, and the character will be knock back. The higher the percent the more damage will effect the character and the farther it will get knocked back. The stages of each battle are only so big, outside each stage are unseen by the players and are considered out of balance. If their characters go too far (or more commonly knocked back) into that area then they lose. Not the whole game mind you (although it can be set to sudden death in other modes) just a loss of point (the rival CPU/player gains that point if they cause the defeat) or a stocked life. Players keep this up until either time runs out or there’s only one survivor. It’s sound, simple system; so much so that some people dare call this a button masher. This is simple not true; it takes a great deal of strategy and skill to master this game. First, each character is different from another (pallet swaps included); from standard attacks, strong attacks, and finish blows to the four special attacks that can save your character’s rear, are just the basic one should know right of the ‘Home Run Bat’. Even the weight of the characters factor how offensively or defensibly one should play.

Then you have to figure the outside elements that drop into the field; namely items. Classic ones like the ‘Beam Sword’ and ‘Ray Gun’ return in this 3^rd installment game; while new toys like the ‘Mortar Launcher’ or the ‘Smoke Bomb’ add new trickery to the field. Like the character themselves, some items take some planning to use while others only require you to aim and pull the trigger. Of course pure skill won’t mean much if players/CPU gets a hold of a Pokeball, Assist Trophy, or a Final Smash Ball. Even one of these bad boys can turn defeat into victory in no time, despite the fact they have their limits too. So to say playing this game need ‘no-effort’ is about the same as saying that democrats have a poor shot of winning the next election here in the states. Now to truly play a button masher might I suggest ‘Tekken’ or ‘Soul Caliber’. They maybe high-end games but they require low I.Q.s to play. Let’s talk about the nuts & bolts of the game, starting with the looks. Most other reviews would poo-poo the graphics, saying that they would look like Nintendo Gamecube graphics. Well that maybe true but there wasn’t much wrong with the GC’s graphic anyway. Plus since we’re working with the power of the Wii everything is nice and detailed; pause the game and see your character and background up close, pretty cool ay?

Also don’t get me started with the music in this title; it’s like they took the best tunes of Nintendo, Kirby, and Sonic; jammed it in the game; and for the sheer awesomeness remixed most of it as a nod to the fans. So, yeah, the music is good. Controls are a non-issue as well; this game allows using all four control styles available for the Wii (The Wii Remote, The Wii Remote with Kunchuk, The Classic Controller, or the Gamecube Controller). Another good move for Nintendo, because even though most people would be conformable with the GC controller (I know I am) that not true for everyone; it’s good to have options. That 3 for 3 and not even the best part; the best part is that the online play is excellent! No, really, excellent! As I mentioned in a past post Nintendo is not known for their online capabilities but Brawl does it like a pro; well better than the pros because I’m still having lag issues with Team Fortress 2 (Valve please get with that, it’s really bad when Nintendo shows you up in the online arena).

I can’t say enough good things about Brawl, but any bad? Well I would say their bad things more like annoying quirks. Such as unbalanced characters abilities and characters with similar abilities to another. The biggest drawback is the limited online options; players can’t even select a higher match time than 2 minutes for random matches. For a guy who lives off random matches this is a serious downer. Oh well, you have more control if you make online matches for your friends. Super Smash Bros Brawl is ‘the’ game for the Wii. I very much doubt you’ll find a game as fun, addicting, and lag free this year. Halo 3, Team Fortress 2, and World of Warcraft; all games I have, all games I own and play from time to time. They’re all enjoyable in their own way, but sooner and later I get bored. WoW is the worst of them all; despite their 1 million + users worldwide you can only grind so many quests before you lose your mind. No won’t have that problem with Brawl, I guarantee it. This game get’s my elite rating: Platinum. If you have a Wii but not this game, what’s taking you? Get it A.S.A.P.