Where does the time go?

I know, I know, I hasn't posted in a couple of months. But between wrapping up my collage semester and playing the massive onslaught of games this fall (only finished half of them)I just didn't have the time. Well to make up for it; here's a article I wrote about a local library in my area. Don't worry, it has something to do with video games. Anyway enjoy, and stay tuned.



Dewey Decimal meets Donkey Kong

Libraries - centers of information in the world since the time before Common Era.

Providing people places of quiet learning and scholarly studying to all, free of charge.

Even with the intention of the computer and the creation of the internet, the library still remains as the undisputed.

The times though keep changing, and the Point Park University Library changes with them. Soon along with classic books like ‘Moby-Dick’, ‘Of Mice and Men’ and ‘The Death of the Salesman’ they with include the rental new age media of video games.

Its Gustave Flaubert meets Gears of War.

Phil Harrity, access service coordinator, and Liz Evans the director of the university center library were the main advocates for this new service. They were happy to provide information on the service as well.

While the details of game renting are not finalized yet; Evans and Harrity both believe it will resemble the way they rent out DVDs. The games will be on shelves, in locked cases. They will be separated by the console systems (Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and Wii) capable of playing them.

The time limit for keeping a rented game is also undetermined; however it’s leaning towards seven days. And the renter can re-rent the game (and any book or DVD) at their website up to three times.

Harrity and Evans said that at this time they don’t plan on selling any accessories (RWY wires, battery packs, extra controls, etc) nor do they plan on renting consoles to the students. The consoles especially for the reason that there are too many things that can go wrong, and it would too expensive to fix or replace.

“The day we went to ‘The Exchange’ and bought $1,300 worth of video games” Evans remembers “I’ve went home and said to my youngest: we’re bought all these video games for the library. He said that’s cool. Then I said we’re going to buy the systems and then loan them out. He looked at me and said ‘Are you crazy? Things are going to happen (to the consoles) and then what are you going to do?’”

A ‘console lab’ won’t be in the foreseeable future either; one of the factor’s for this is noise. The university center is still in part a library, having a console lab would disturb more than a few students doing research for essays and the like.

The other issue is space.
“Most people think the whole building is the library, it isn’t. We have to share space with other classes, offices, the TV studio and the auditorium. Another lab just wouldn’t fit.” said Evans

What they will provide is reading material in the form of ‘Game Informer’, video game centered magazine and Wizard, a magazine dealing with not only video games but comics, and pop culture.

Finally, and as always, they will lend an ear for students at the library; if someone want the library to stock certain item, game, book, DVD, or service they can suggest it anytime. If they are capable, they will provide.

Now all this covers the what, as for the why?

“We are doing this for the students.” Harrity said “Especially for the students who live in campus and have noting to do in the evening.”

Downtown Pittsburgh is an city that is it not known for its nightlife, most shops and services close down around 5:00 o’clock. With the renting of games (along with DVDs and books) the library staff hopes to give students more entertainment options.

Now at first, there were those who believed that video game rentals in the library weren’t such a hot idea. Over time, however those detractors soon saw how important this program is for students; in fact Harrity believes that video games will help support the rental of books and DVD.

Video games today use a lot of source material from early works of fiction. The ‘God of War’ game series takes a lot from ancient Greek and Roman history; while the ‘Call for Duty’ series closely follows the events World War II.

The way Harrity see it, if a person wants to know more about the background of a game they easily find that information in a book, DVD or online, and found in the same place they rented the game.

A one stop-shop for information and entertainment.

The library staff believes that students will have no trouble finding out about the new feature once it gets started. They expect a lot of word of mouth; but will also advertise on their website and sent out flash e-mails to all students.

What really will get the word out for them is the soon, upcoming all night game-a-thon. A collaboration of the library, the point park I.T. department, Gamestop and even the school own video game club.

The date is still undetermined, but what is guaranteed is that there will be fun to be had for all who attend. No matter if it’s rocking out to a heavy metal ballet, getting a hard fought 1st down or saving Sera from the Locust Horde.

At the end of the day what the library is doing is only following suit of other libraries. Who more and more of them are including the rental and sale of video games along with their traditional services. Why those libraries are doing it for their community is unknown, but Evans ultimately knows why Point Park University is doing it.

“The library here is for the students of Point Park, we will do whatever we can to make the student’s time here at Point Park, productive and enjoyable.”

The Fall of Games – Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Before I get started with this feature, I want to say something to (and anyone connected with) ‘Lucas Arts’: *ahem* Stop with the prequels already. I love Star Wars, who doesn’t really? But they dug from the original movies (IV, V, VI) far too much for my taste. All I see from them is prequels, prequels, prequels! Outside the books (seriously, books Lucas Arts?) the only advancement of the series is through video games, (Jedi academy in particular) quite a shame. For the love of all things good and sci-fi please start doing sequels (movie or otherwise) or I swear to you, you’ll curdle that great galactic cash cow we all know and love. Ok now that I’ve said my peace, let’s move to gaming business with ‘The Force Unleashed’




Available via download through X-box and Playstation, this sampling was short, but gave me enough to see what I’m working with. You play as Vader secret Sith apprentice named Starkiller (how Vader got that apprentice is unknown), but to finish his training Vader sent him to an imperial shipyard to kill a Jedi and his rebel forces that went there. The imperial troopers at the base also must be silenced, because if the Emperor finds out Vader took an apprentice there will be trouble. I’m proud to say that I’ve played my fair share Star Wars games; Force Unleashed is definitely different than the games that came before it. Starkiller is able to use the force at an extreme level; sending entire battalion flying using force pull, throwing giant explosive cores at rebels and watching them blast away like shrapnel, and even throw enough force lightning to make any obstacles into ash in no time. Of course any Sith worth their saber can use it (the Lightsaber I mean) to carve carnage into all who stand before them, Starkiller is no different. Another uniqueness about our boy is that he’s able combine his force attacks to rack up the points and cause maximum damage. Use your imagination and think of the chaos one could cause in the full game. The enemies in the demo weren’t stupid either; they do their best to work together, however against a force-user normal tactics won’t do at all. It only got challenging when the AT-ST showed up. Even then, once I figured out how to fight it, the mecha-chicken when down pretty hard. After that the playable demo ended and went into advertisement mode for the game and its release. All and all I was satisfied, total domination of the battlefield through the force was fun. Though I’m sure it won’t be like that when we come across Jedi in the full game. If I had to classify this game, it would be a mix between ‘Psi-Ops: The Mindgate Conspiracy’ and ‘God of War’. Two great gaming concepts that are perfect together, but nothing set in stone. I’ll reserve my final judgments for the release.

The Fall of Games – Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People

In the wide world of webbing there is never a shortage of time wasting entertainers; Youtube alone could keep the world in a catatonic state for who knows how long. However if your like me (the world could be so lucky) you want to log in to something with a little substance, thought and comedy gold. One such site is homestarrunner.com. It stars an armless athlete of sorts, a balloon best friend, a bell shaped girlfriend and many other colorful characters that live in Free Country, USA. And while they’re the funniest flash characters I’ve ever seen, the main reason myself (and other people) come to the site is for the man, the myth, the PG-13 jerkiness of Strong Bad and his net famous emails segments.

These e-mail fuelled misadventures has not only spawned new features & mini-games for homestarrunner.com, but also propelled the site into the humorous juggernaut that it is today. So were does the series go from here; TV? Movies? Nope, they take their next steps to the most interactive entertainer in the world today – Video Games, and more to the point, the Nintendo Wii and the PC. Attractive ladies and gentleman I present “Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People”. This game puts you the shoe-boots & non-finger mitts of Strong Bad, you control him and interact with his environment by pointing and clicking with the Wii-mote or mouse. From there, you can do whatever you want to get through the game with Strong Bad looking cool & awesome as possible. Also you can choose to make him a nice guy or the Baddest Strong Bad the pre-teen censors will allow. Tired of kicking ‘The Cheat’ already? No worries, ‘SBCG4AP’ has other mini-games to enjoy like ‘Snake Boxer 5’, some rock & roll treasure hunting, some non-rock & roll item hunting, and a fan favorite – ‘Teen Girl Squad’ comics (impress Strong Bad by bring the pain to the squad). This is a simple point & click adventure, but chock full of that Homestar funny that fans know and love. It also gives those same fans the inside look of Free Country USA and how everything connected in their little world. Add to the fact that SBCG4AP cost only $10.00 (through Wii shop channel anyway) and new episodes will appear monthly (until December) makes this an attractive addition to any gamers library. Now if you all will excuse me, I’m going to kick The Cheat just because I can now, it feels good to be Strong Bad.

The Fall of Games – Too Human Preview

Yep, summer is almost over – which means some of us will be going back to our studies; while to others it just means it’s getting colder. If you’re one or the other, and also a gamer; you know premium games will be around the corner as well. Quite a number of exciting titles in fact - a lot of sequels true, but a lot originals titles as well. So to aid people during this time, I’m going to post up coming games that I personally think will go distance in the coming months. Thanks to the demo on Xbox live I’m able to post my preview of “Too Human”; a game about Norse mythos with a sci-fi slant to it. See the gods and goddesses of this universe are not mythical, but rather cybernetically enhanced. Such enhancements give them powers and abilities that normal folk believe to be divine (even though they live in a sci-fi reality).

You play as Baldur; son of Odin, ‘God’ of Justice, and bringer of Ragnarök in his death (foreshadow much ‘Too Human’). Anyway in the demo Baldur and his troops are sent to destroy an android that has been killing humans in the land. How the machine kills (drinking its victim’s blood) has Baldur particularly worried; so he wants to take care of the mission personally. The first thing I’ve notice about this game is how epic-movie it feels; scène transitions, speaking parts, battle, etc - like weird fusion of Starship Troopers and Lord of the Rings (more or less). The game is visually beautiful in many areas in the game, and even more so on the character’s faces. I’ve never seen more realistic faces in the video game; they had creases, wrinkles, indentations, the whole nine. Very impressive but the most unique thing about the game (and the most advertised difference between itself and other action RPGs) is its fighting system. Most games of this type would use a single button for attack like ‘A’ or ‘X’ but Too Human wants style & substance. Its main attack, is the right thumb stick. That’s right (pun intended), the ‘RTS’ (pun not intended), the part of the controller that usually reserved for looking around. Funny enough though, I think it’s do-able. Just press the thumb stick in the direction to attack, and watch little Baldur go. Even enemies all around the character, can be cleared easily. The left & right triggers fire twin side arms (the all purpose stick is used to aim); great for those who want to keep their distance. It’s also a simple system to use, and allows for quite a deal of carnage; which is good because for every one of you there is a hundred of them - all wanting to kill you. The game has five classes to use, but the demo only has two to use – champion (all-around warrior) & berserker (melee damage maestro). I liked using the berserker class out of the two because it brought pain; even though it has the worst shot in all of Asgard. Sadly the demo didn’t last too long, and left me wanting more. Mission accomplished Microsoft; they got me wanting to game, even now. August 20 can’t come soon enough. That’s just me though; go to Xbox live and download the demo for yourselves - I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

Game Review – Battlefield: Bad Company

The Battlefield series has always been massive warfare; using realistic weapons (most of the time) and tactics to defeat the enemy forces. It is indeed a staple for the PC and now console multiplayer, what it lacked however was a barely entertaining single player. I love the single player experience and (at the time) didn’t have a good PC at the time so I didn’t play this series very much, and what I did play on demos bored me. However this new Battlefield game entitled ‘Bad Company’ will give this online legend a 1^st player focus for the first time.

You play Preston Marlowe who did something, at sometime, somewhere, to someone(s) that could have meant ‘X’ amount jail time for him. Instead of rotting in the hole somewhere, they put him to work by serving in the army, fighting a new war with an old enemy; the Russians. Marlowe get pared up with the army’s worst and least combatively trained ‘B’ or Bad Company; who only job is to die in the service of their country. Players will then meet their new best friends: Sweetwater (nerd with gun) Haggard (red-neck demo) and Sergeant Redford (military archetype). While Sweetwater and Haggard are in the same boat as Marlowe, Redford opted to B Company for a way out of his tour of duty quicker (if he’s lives anyway). While finishing up a crap mission they were lucky enough to survive, they discover that mercs known as the Legionnaires are operating with the Russians. These soldiers are the best of the best; and they get paid solid gold bars. It didn’t take these four long to get ideas in their heads; and thus starts their adventure of personal gain without getting caught by the U.S. army or killed on the field. Bad Company is a text book military FPS, complete with numerous gun types (from AN-94 to XM8), rocket launchers, explosives, tools and vehicles. Depending on what kind of shooter you’re used to, the transition we’ll be easy or annoying, but there nothing complicated here so it won’t take long to figure it out. The game gives you various objectives (kill enemies, destroy stuff, etc) to deal with, however it doesn’t care how you do it. For example; the army wants B Company to escort three tanks to their next mission. Of course to get there you all must cross a narrow stretch way, packed full of baddies wanting to give those tanks new ventilation holes, which simply won’t do. So you must figure out the best way to protect the war machines; do you climb into one of them and man the turret, or you stay outside with a repair tool and let the tanks do the fighting while you patch them up, you could even use the RPG you snagged a while back to give your attackers a taste of their own warhead. Players can do all these options (and many more) if they so do choose, but be careful, your opponents’ do not pull punches and will catch you off guard. Sometimes it’s good to go Rambo, but other times it’s better to be a team player. Speaking of which, your team will accompany you through most of the game and can’t be killed. That’s the good news, the bad? They have the aim of a blind, drunk hippie. If anything they make good distractions, but game leaves you to do all the fighting.

Which is irritating, but not the only irritant in the game. During the single player you can collect the various weapons off ammo areas or dead enemies. The then marks them as collected on a list – and that’s it. You don’t get to go back on the list and pick a weapon you’ve collected to use in battle (which would have been preferable); it’s just there to look at (lame). Why have an impressive array of weaponry if you’re only going to use a certain type of weapon once or twice per level (ultra lame). The game itself is the next thing a bring into question; it looks nice, sounds great and characters are solid but all and all it’s something I’ve seen before on more impressive games. There is nothing in Bad Company that truly wows’ me. Single player makes no mistakes, but it also doesn’t do anything to make me go back and replay the stage over and over again (which is something I do all the time, and why I’m always late with my reviews/post J). Even the game destructible environments’ are only an amusing gimmick; as it falls destroy everything, completely (i.e. houses, guard towers). My greatest ire stems from the multiplayer of Bad Company. Maybe it’s me, but it all seems to be more frantic and simplistic than the norm. It doesn’t help that the game comes with only one mode of play (combination of capture the flag and destroy the objective), and handled poorly. The multiplayer classes (Assault, Demolitions, Recon, Specialist, and Support) are terrible because the most of the weapons and gear for them are locked. They only become available after players level up, which won’t be easy. Chances are you’ll die in the first few seconds of play, if you spawn at the front lines. You won’t know where it’s coming from, or how they got a perfect shot while you got shotty at someone close range and get nothing, but death will happen - especially to Battlefield newbs(like me). Even when players get used to this multiplayer frenzied style, it still won’t help; it’s better to be lucky than good in this game. I could say more how much I hate the multiplayer, but I don’t want that to ruin the whole review for you all so I’ll just close this up.

Bad Company was a great single player experience for me, story-wise anyway. Generally though; the game as a whole was just average; full of missed opportunities, plain/unimpressive combat, and hell-spawn multiplayer (sorry, last time) holds this title back. I’ll give EA credit for trying but I hope the sequel will be at least 5 times as better as the original or I’m just going to give this a pass. Bad Company get’s an average score of a Sliver rating.

Game Review - Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King – Only just the beginning

When it comes to video games I’m some-what a purest; meaning I only buy games that come in a box (or a Gamefly envelope). Before, I thought all those console ‘download service’ games weren’t worth the time or the carnie based points to buy them. However when I saw Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King as a preview on Game Informer, I knew this was going to be something good. Admittedly I forgot about it for a time, but it only took one review of the game to jog my memory (and excitement). So were my good vibes justified; in a word yes. So much of a yes that I might have to change my opinion on such games from being just rewritten, reworked games from the past to something more credible. Before I move into the game, I confess that I’ve never played the Crystal Chronicles series of Final Fantasy. I thought it was stupid. So my take on the story is a little fragmented, but in the beginning of the game three characters find themselves a castle town, minus the town. They been on the run since their old home was destroyed by a force called ‘miasma’ (A force that has been taking care of in the first Crystal Chronicles, I’m assuming anyway). These three: one old knight, one chancellor/court magician, and one little aire apparent (the main character) of the bygone kingdom must now rebuild what they lost in this new land. Simple, right? Well in final Fantasy nothing is as simple as it appears, especially for a king - which is you.

This is not a RPG or action game, it’s more a like a micromanaging simulator with a little strategy added. If non-twitching isn’t your thing then stop reading this and go play Halo, however if you give this game a good hour you may be pleasantly surprised. Now the king has a power called ‘Architek’ which allows players to build building instantly; a useful skill but not a free one. Players need to get ‘elementite’ to use the power and the only places to get the stuff is where the monsters live (of course). Normally player would just gear up with the big, baddest weapons, armor and magic available and go tearing into the wild; bring back enough treasures to choke a moogle. However… Kings don’t do that sort of thing; they delegate jobs like to more expendable ‘heroes’ of the realm and My Life as a King is no different. Check the adventurer’s stats, tell them where to go and sit back while they do all the hard work of grinding monsters for you. Next day they bring back any elementite, treasure, and funds for you to use at your leisure, sweet deal. Where players come in though is pimping out your kingdom, and while it is busy work it’s also exciting create your own kingdom from the ground up. Each structure players choose (or not to choose) to build will affect your home and the people around it. For example; later on in the game, you’ll have the ability to build mage academies. In which will not only give your adventures the option to become mages, and make future defenders of the realm near the academies more intelligent (thus better mages), but they will provide a scenic bell tower chime every morning, afternoon and evening in the kingdom (which does nothing really, but sounds nice). Academies are only one of many building the king can form; but it’s up to the player to decide ‘what’ go’s ‘where’ and ‘how many’. There is only so much room in your kingdom and in order for you to survive and prosper you must keep both your citizens safe and your soldiers happy. Heavy is the head that holds the crown.

This game is simple looking, but very beautiful. Which has always been Nintendo’s greatest visual strength; (in my opinion) they can’t compete with PS3 and 360’s realistic graphics. The Wii was built for colorful, expressive art style; the sooner more 3^rd party developers figure this out, the better Wii games will become (visually anyway). The game’s tutorials are also very simple to understand, clearly explaining the less than pulse-pounding functions of the game. I have to say though my favorite thing about the game is the charm of it. Not once was I bored doing practically the same thing in the 7-10 minute intervals that counted as the in-game days. I always wanted to hear what the villagers had to say, even though they tend to repeat themselves. And when the adventurers head out to their latest dungeon I’m always excited to see the results (being good or bad). Of coarse that’s just me, to another gamer all this may just seem to be a striped down final fantasy tactics mixed with Sims element. Which it is, but it doesn’t making any less fun and at a cheap price, it’s a great find for Wii owners. Players can even invest more money into the game by buying new avatar skins, useable races, high level dungeons and upgraded buildings. Totally optional, but they do keep things interesting. If more downloadable games are like this (creative & fun) then I have nothing to worry about for future titles. However despite how enjoyable this title is to me personally, I can only give it a Sliver rating because at the end of the day this game will only appeal to a certain crowd, not the majority of gamers. The features that make it great are also what holds’ it back.

It’s not me; it’s you – Grand Thief Auto IV & Mario Kart Wii

I had a good memorial week, playing and eating well, but now it’s back to work for me. And I start by unleashing my newest segment on two games that are popular right now: Grand Thief Auto IV and Mario Kart Wii respectively. Now I could accurately review these two games easily; however at this point I would be only saying the same things that have been already said earlier this month. So instead I decided to post what ‘kept’ these two games from achieving my perfect rating: Triple Platinum. Both games are good granted but unlike every Jon, Dick and Game Reviewer I hold my rating systems in the highest regard. That means if a game is excellent all-round but contains flaws (big or small) it will not receive a perfect from me, guaranteed. To date, no game (even my personal favorites) has ever earned my ultimate rating – such is my devotion to the game (metaphorically speaking). I had high hopes for these games, GTA IV in particularly, but they unfortunately fell short. Don’t think so do you? Well continue on and we’ll see if all that glitters in GTA IV is really gold.

GTA IV: This latest entry into the series doesn’t disappoint (at first); excellent characters, well-designed locations and ton of vehicles to steal, race and destroy this game will keep you busy. It also gets credit for creating a parody of our own reality; complete with T.V. shows, internet, pool, bowing, darts, dating and of course radio shows. Those alone make this game a classic, but it was the story that won many over. So deep and clever you would think you were watching the latest summer blockbuster. This game would get a Platinum rating if I were to officially review, and not just summarized it. However, that said, GTA IV could have been so much better if only they fixed obvious problems, and fine tuned some features. Such as…

Hold ‘X’ to run – Yeah, hello Rockstar, 1992 called, they said they want their running function back. Do you know why we have (and use) thumb sticks instead of D-pad these days in modern games? Because the players can chose how fast their character can move by them and them alone without wasting time on an extra button function for increased speed. Because of this downgrade it makes getting around the nooks and crannies of Liberty City much more a chore than it as to be, and in combat it’s a liability. The finally nail in the coffin though is that holding that down the button won’t give the fastest run available. If you want to get away from a bunch thugs armed with assault rifles you need to press ‘X’ repeatedly - brilliant… Now I need to blister my favorite gaming digit to get any serious speed, just brilliant Rockstar.

Combat – What is so hard about this, Rockstar? 88% of all games involving guns at least have a good system of aiming and firing. The GTA is part of that 22% which has a system of combat sucking. My favorite GTA game, San Andreas, had my hopes for IV since it had the most improved combat in the series (different melee fighting styles, exercise to increases stamina and strength, and upgradeable firearms skills), but (unwisely might I add) they dropped everyone of those beautiful features. What was left was a ‘new’ cover system which is as broken as the GTA combat system itself (Heh “Auto-aim is an awesome feature that is often misunderstood." my ass!), and a ‘new’ free aim ability that let’s choose where to shoot instead of just locking-on (This ability is pressure sensitive, not your friend in tight situations). IV also gives players the ability to arms and legs, but it’s not very practical in the game, and near impossible in multiplayer. Headshots are king; don’t waste your time with any other part of the body except for the body itself of course. But speaking of Multiplayer (segue please).

GTA multiplayer – I haven’t been this disappointed in a multiplayer setup since Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (Although that one was way more fun). You’re given a butt-ugly avatar to dress up like a hobo doll and then (depending on the mode type) need to overcome the initial weakness of the two problems I listed above to obtain victory in the match. And what do you get for all your hard work, why the great almighty dollar. How much money you get will influence your rank in the multiplayer mode (if you’ve horded enough that is), that and unlock new clothes for your avatar. This is sad, because Rockstar could have so much more with this ‘cash’ system. Such as buying weapons, armors, and even cars giving the game some much needed strategy. Instead of what we have now which is people scattering like morons looking for a rocket launcher (or some useable weapon/armor) and a half way drivable car that won’t blow up when the enemy spits on it. If you’re lucky enough to find you all those things you’ll still be brought down by some punk who auto locks you to submission with a SMG (while in your car traveling 50mph, no less).

I’ll be fair though – In multiplayer the run button allows you to run at full speed just by holding down and not by pressing it repeating (unlike the story mode), the room creator does have the option to turn off the Auto-aim in their matchers; and they do offer some creative match types like “Mafia work”. But all this doesn’t improve this mode or me, in the long run luck plays too much of a factor here. Luck in your shots, luck in the positioning of yourself, your objectives, vehicles and weapons you spawn next to, and finally the luck of getting paired up with competent players in team mode. If any one of those is not in your favor, then you’re in for one rough game.

Nikolei "Niko" Bellic – The final ‘T’ I need to cross is with the main character himself. Now I hate to beat a dead house here, but there’s some wrong with a guy like this (professional solider at one time) who doesn’t have the same (or better) combative skills as a gang banger (Carl "CJ" Johnson). Even without the ability of free aim or cover CJ would decimate wakes enemies with out trouble (which was good for ‘Gang wars’ land grabs). I liked how he was able to fit emotionally to every situation he’s put in, whether he’s out to kill or out on the date. Still, for video game of this caliber, a good personality ain’t going to cut on its own. A main character can speak softly, but he must also carry a big stick after all. All my boy Niko has is average abilities, average weapons usage, a cell phone, and the unrelenting need to keep friends happy so they can (maybe) help you, so long as its daylight out. Hell, don’t get me started with avatar customizing difference between CJ and Niko. Rockstar, next time make your main character upgradeable (and cool like C.J.) but deep and emotional (like the very ‘real’ Niko Bellic) and I guarantee you’re like the result from friends and harsh critics like me.

Mario Kart Wii: Mario Kart is a legacy series of games that has been entertaining Nintendo gamers since SNES. With a cast of the Mushroom kingdom favorites (plus DK and crew), a crazy assortment of courses and cartoonish weaponry; Mario Kart always kept players entertained yet challenged and they only got better with age, like a fine wine. Which made it a big surprise to find this game, Mario Kart Wii, a step back in the series’ pedigree? Don’t get me wrong it’s still fun, the controls works, online up the wazoo and they even added bikes and your ‘Mii’s’ into the fix, but (as impressive as that is) it still a far cry to how good their last home console game was. I could only muster up a Gold rating for this game, sadly. Get you pens and pencils ready people, here’s what Nintendo did wrong:

Useless wheel: Now I’m all for making everyone, everywhere a gamer (and to make the transition as easy as possible), but I am also against accessories that are stupid, and this thing is stupid. Unless Nintendo starts to crank out kart/racing games every few weeks, this ‘wheel’ will only find permanence in a junk draw or trash bin. Trust me; using the nunchuk is a much better way to go.

“Rubber banding”: I am not sure who came up with the term but Rubber banding means the better the player is doing in a race the more often the CPU characters uses devastating items to bring them down. This applies to real players as well. It never fails; I work hard to get to first place in an online race, only to have it taken away by an unavoidable attack (Blue shells, lightning, etc). Very annoying… Meanwhile when I get to first place (yet again), the only items I can get is bananas, green shells (the suckee’er brand of shell), and on rare moments, a mushroom. Racing without combat is NASCAR, and NASCAR bores me, but this Rubber banding (which has been persistence in Mario Kart since the beginning) abuses the whole racing element by any racer in 7^th place or below. Nintendo, if your reading, you must find the balance between skills on the wheel and well-timed (and well earned) items. I’m not saying that the dust eaters should be entirely cut off, but throw a bone to the truly skilled sometimes, or maybe create a defensive item like a 15-sec shield. Put Rubber banding out to pasture next game, I’m begging you.

Minus Double Dash: I loved Mario Kart: Double Dash, the use of a team kart game play, varied karts themselves, all new (or at least updated) courses, signature weapons/items, the whole nine was beautiful. However like GTA IV, Mario Kart Wii has lost a massive step from its predecessors. All that was good in the former is no where in the latter. Now we only have ½ the new racing courses to enjoy while the rest are blasts from races past. I like seeing the old courses again, but don’t rob players (vets and rookies) of quirky new ones. Also they scraped D.D.’s co-op play (two players, one kart, millions of laugh) which is just wrong and that begat the loss of signature items (Mario’s fireballs, Bowser’s super shell, etc.), also wrong. The karts in this latest installment also pale, they lack personally, but importantly no matter the weight class (light, medium, heavy) or the vehicle type (kart or bike) they will perform roughly the same way. Sure, a heavy rider will always bump a light rider a little harder, but other than that there are no other advantages / disadvantages from using Mario from any other racer - making this game just a little blander.

Well I think that covers all my grievances with these two games here, but this is only the beginning. I plan on keeping up with this segment for games that I expect better of, but totally missed the mark, so keep your eyes open for them – you might be surprised on what I write about. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve been writing way too long I have still too many games to catch up on.

Shigeru Miyamoto is #1 on ‘TIME 100’ poll – The people have spoken

You know I’ve been playing GTA VI (review coming) pretty hard lately so I haven’t had the time to watch TV. However yesterday I was watching the iconic master of American punditry, Steven Colbert. On his show he told the viewers that he came in 3^rd on Time’s most influential people’s poll (Better luck next year Stevie). However the person who came in 1^st was the daddy of games himself, Shigeru Miyamoto. Mr. Miyamoto is someone I truly respect, because he’s the guy to saved gaming for us all with his games ‘Donkey Kong’ and ‘Super Mario Bros.’ respectably. Even today his titles keep reinventing gaming structure giving endless possibilities to future games; and all without resorting to bloody murders or X-rated orgies. So I offer my congras Mr. M for this high accomplishment in not only your skills as an entertainer, but your brilliant imagination.

War of the Worlds: The Game – It’s about damn time

* Ybnem Vuum'c bucd baubma, tuh'd dyga drec caneuicmo. Ihmacc ouin punat, frelr E fyc frah E syta drec. Ahzuo! *

Street fighter IV, please.

\

GTA IV, drek.

Starcraft II, feed for pigs.

The newest game that will shake the gaming universe at it core is the 1898 masterpiece War of the Worlds: The Game.

It was like I was saying to my brother; “My brotha’!” I says “The people don’t read anymore all they care about youtube and porn! I tell ya! I wish they come out with a game that will educate the masses!”

Well like a gift from Miyamoto I got my wish because one of my spies on the inside told me that this momentous game was in the works by a new developer called Rickroll’d super tech. Their C.E.O. promised “Not to let us down…” Now – Now; I know what you all are saying: “Not another alien shooter!” and I agree, but that’s the genius of this War of the Worlds: The Game; it’s not a shooter – it’s a simulator. That’s right; you take the role of the radio director who made the epic broadcast in 1938 who fooled the general populous into believing aliens have actually landed on earth. This time though you the power of 21st century technologies like computers and sound machines on your side. I’m not quite sure how that’s possible but I’m sure it will work after the beta. Anyway your goal to whip the world into such a frenzy over aliens that the earth with launch a preemptive strike against the ‘real’ red menace: Mars. White at the same time beat your radio competitors before they make the people forget about your fake invasion. This is a can’t miss game, so relevant in our times. Anywho… This game will be available for every system, ever made including ‘The Phantom’ which should make Phantom Entertainment happy because I’ve haven’t seen 3^rd party (or any)games on that system yet. I’ll keep you all inform with any latest up dates and with any luck this game will come out… never.

By the by, if your not fluent in Al Bhed use this translator to decode my sentence at the beginning.

Downloadable Content – Just when you think you’re done with a game

I’ll be honest with you all; I don’t really download anything extra for my games unless I have to; like new Halo 3 maps for my online multiplayer. After all when I beat a game I don’t need to spend extra money for a few new missions and maybe an extra item or two, plus good content is rare. Well I got to say I’m wrong on this one; the just downloaded (the pack adds 8 new characters to the game: 4 heroes and 4 villains) for Marvel Ultimate Alliance and it’s like playing a whole new game. the Heroes and Villains pack. While my brother took the new heroes (The Incredible Hulk, Cyclops, Nightcrawler and Hawkeye) I took the villains (Venom, Magneto, Dr. Doom and Sabretooth - Mwa ha ha!)

While the game was the same; it seemed to adjust itself to the new characters quite well. They even interacted with the set opponents like the normal characters would, impressive. I tell you there something about playing a villain that so enjoyable; using Magneto powers to throw people like rag dolls or slapping foes around with symbiote-powered Venom. Uh, my brother had fun too. As I finished playing M.U.A. for the moment I figured I tried another favorite game, ‘Overlord’ to see if it had any downloads to be had. Sure enough it did, quite a big bit too. No new characters, but much more content that extents the game that I truly liked but thought was too short. Ah life is good, and I don’t mind being wrong on this one if the good content keeps flowing like wine. Although such content is not free (mostly) so many sure your buying something you want; remember all that glitters is not gold.